Where should you be sitting on an airplane?

You are a leader who likes to be in charge of all situations, including the dynamics associated with your airplane seating arrangement. You want to be aware of your surroundings and don’t want to be bottled in and will, therefore, relish the freedom that an aisle seat provides you. You are a hardcore executor and not a 'looking at the fluffy clouds' daydreamer. Characteristically impatient, seated here you will find it quite gratifying to receive your meal and beverage earlier than most passengers. And the front section aisle is the perfect location for the deboarding dash - your mad rush to get off the plane as soon as it lands and even before the seat belt signs go off. Lastly, given your affinity for liquids or a genetically weak bladder, you probably make more trips than usual to the washroom than the average homo sapien. The quick access that an aisle seat provides you will be quick liberating.

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You are a leader who likes to be in charge of all situations, including the dynamics associated with your airplane seating arrangement. You want to be aware of your surroundings and don’t want to be bottled in and will, therefore, relish the freedom that an aisle seat provides you. Strong in spirit and with a 'never say die' attitude, you probably, even though you don’t admit it, enjoy the extra turbulence that a seat at the back of the plane offers. Add to that your flirty nature and you have a lot more opportunities to hang out with the stewards and stewardesses in the galley at the back. You are the kind of person who usually goes overboard on the consumption of liquids and quick access to the multiple washrooms located at the back of the plane is beneficial. You are not a 'let me look at the clouds and dream' personality, and we can completely visualize you swaying your charismatic head to the beat of your thoughts as the plane bounces you around. No one usually wants these seats other than backpackers and risk takers like yourself, so you don’t have to worry about losing out on them.

Get more game-changing flying tips from the National Bestseller, Aisle Be Damned. A hilarious take on just about everything associated with air travel. Pick up your copy now.

You are a creative fantasist who likes to stare out at fluffy clouds and dreams of a brighter tomorrow where Trump and Kim, clad in smart and matching pinstripe suits, are doing the Gangnam style. An idealistic procrastinator, you strongly believe that what could be done today can instead be done tomorrow and actually, why not the day after? You take life slowly, and rather than deal with the frantic travel activity all around, you prefer to place your belongings in the seat pocket, prop a pillow against the fuselage and daydream. You value your privacy and seated at the window, will not have co-passengers clambering over you to go to the restroom. And with better bladder control than most of the adult population, you will rarely be disturbing your seatmates either. So just shuffle in awkwardly to your window seat, sit back, pull up the shades and enjoy the view.

Get more game-changing flying tips from the National Bestseller, Aisle Be Damned. A hilarious take on just about everything associated with air travel. Pick up your copy now.

A pretentious, deep-pocketed, sugar daddy/mommy like yourself should be sitting nowhere other than Business class. Living in a world far removed from the rest of humanity, you pay exorbitant amounts just so that you can board at your leisure, get a tad bit more legroom, and a warm towel to wipe down that botoxed face. Well, you like your luxuries so go ahead and smirk in the comfort of that extra wide seat to accommodate your equivalently broad backside. Just know that you will reach your destination at the same time as the rest of the passengers, who are huddled like sardines, in a section behind the curtain that you may not have been aware of. 

Get more game-changing flying tips from the National Bestseller, Aisle Be Damned. A hilarious take on just about everything associated with air travel. Pick up your copy now.

You are a meticulous planner who always knows exactly what needs to be done. A take-charge considerate individual, we would want no one other than you to be in charge of pulling down that red handle and evacuating the plane, in case of any crisis. Why you might even have listened to the stewardess as she explained the evacuation drill to you as you sat in the emergency row. Which is precisely the seating area that you are most suited for. It offers the extra legroom and space that a highly deserving individual like you needs. It is also usually equidistant from the restrooms at the front or the back of the plane, so you have a more extensive choice of pots wherein to relive yourself than most of your co-passengers. And snagging one of the very few such seats on offer requires an investment of time, money and effort – all of which you have in reasonable quantities. So enjoy the extra leg room and don’t open the door if you see smoke outside. But surely you knew that.

Get more game-changing flying tips from the National Bestseller, Aisle Be Damned. A hilarious take on just about everything associated with air travel. Pick up your copy now.

We don’t know how to say this, without appearing rude, but you are best suited for the damned middle seat. The elbow rubbing, snort wiping, claustrophobia-inducing seat that no self-respecting traveler would ever want. But you do and deservedly so, and this can be for a couple of reasons. Either you are such a pushover that you get forced into taking the middle seat at any opportunity. Whether by the group of self-serving friends or relatives who you are traveling with. Or by the check-in attendant whose loser alert alarm goes off as she sees you approaching her desk. Or by the Aunty two rows behind who commands you to swap seats so that she can sit closer to her teenaged offspring. You happily grant the world every opportunity to take you for granted. Alternatively, you are just a pathetic planner or cost cutter that you did not even bother to snag yourself a better seat. Or finally, you are just Buddha reincarnated; a soul so spiritual and evolved that you don’t care where you sit because this flight is only one small blip in your long journey over several lifetimes to eternal salvation. In any event, we hope that you enjoy your game of elbow chess all the way until you land. Which that too, unfortunately, losers in the middle seat usually don’t win.

Get more game-changing flying tips from the National Bestseller, Aisle Be Damned. A hilarious take on just about everything associated with air travel. Pick up your copy now.